Motherhood is hard enough, and it really does take a friggin' village. The sad news for many of us is that there is no such village readily available.
The words mom and war sound ridiculous together, and some would suggest “mom wars” don't even exist -- that it is just something “the media” concocted to give us all something to fight about. Herein lies part of the problem. You can call the problem whatever you'd like, but denying the reality of its existence doesn't help anyone.
Just because I haven't experienced some horrible thing, doesn't mean it's not real.
We segregate ourselves with labels; dos and don'ts of "good" and "bad" parenting. We point fingers at other moms who don't do things the "right" way, and we use our common vulnerabilities and fears as weapons of mass destruction. We forget that we are all equals -- doing the best we can with the tools we have -- and that there is no better or less than.
We title fight.
Cloth vs. Disposable, Organic vs. Processed, Bottle vs. Breast, Helicopter vs. Free Range - the lists go on and on. Sometimes we hide behind the guise of "concern," or a desire to "help" to justify the casualties, but more often than not we stick our noses where they don't belong and/or misuse another mom's trust of us.
Moms + Wars = Mom Wars
I have personally experienced and witnessed the realities of mom v. mom. Especially with Sober Mommies, I have been on the front lines offering support to women for a very long time. I can assure any and all doubters that the struggle is 100% real.
Questioning the reality of other people's experience is not an appropriate response to a request for action. Talking about finding a solution to a problem doesn't make it worse. It makes finding the solution possible.