7 Horrible Ways Your Body Will Turn on You During Pregnancy
I had lunch with a pregnant friend recently and we got to talking about all the horrible things no one warns you about during pregnancy. Her stance was that someone really should have told her, and my stance was that we probably just forgot or worried the number of women willing to reproduce would come to a screeching halt.
I do not understand how nature works or why it insists on messing with our vaginas during pregnancy. Perhaps Mother Nature is concerned that the light pink color may blind the doctor under those fluorescent lights or something. For whatever dumb reason, during some stage in pregnancy, expect your cooter to darken a bit.
2. Say hello to your “happy trail”
3. Prepare for stretch marks
4. Those giant boobs you always thought you wanted? Here you go.
If you are lucky enough to be able to enjoy your incredible post baby hooters, make sure you really do because the after affects are not always pretty (see #5).
5. Say good-bye to perky boobs and human-sized aureoles
This doesn’t happen to all women, and some I want to punch in the throat are lucky enough to avoid it.
*But seriously, try not to be jealous of my mad plane landing skills. “It’s a gift, not a curse,” says no one.
6. Good-bye cute and/or sexy shoes
7. “Child bearing” hips
So, there you have it! Perhaps you are now armed with some warnings about the effects of pregnancy and childbirth.
You have also been alerted to never walk by my bedroom window at night.